Even More Upcoming Horror Remakes

It’s the big fat Cash Cow that just keeps mooing  ; The Horror Remake. It truly is hard to believe that it hasn’t keeled over and died yet and that there are still many horror remakes in preproduction. But then take a moment to remember how many Asian Horror films there actually are and how subtitles are ‘apparently’ the Devil ; It.Will.Never.Stop

The Blob

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A remake of a remake,well holy toast that’s original! *facepalm* Apparently 1988 was very, very long ago and the fact that the original 1958 classic was remade in 1988 doesn’t faze Rob Zombie who’s picked up the reigns to direct the (remake) remake.

Battle Royale

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Now this bad idea was in the works for quite some time, with the presence and impact of the original film about teens pitted against each other in a fight to the death, garnering such adoration that US movie studios were falling over themselves to get an American remake in the works and then The Hunger Games happened – you know the story of teens pitted against each other in a fight to the death?  Yes it does sound familiar. Heavy weight producer Roy Lee who had been putting his money behind the remake has said that though The Hunger Games hasn’t exactly killed the chances of a Battle Royale remake stone dead it has put it in a holding pattern – may still happen.

Martyrs

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That’s right one of the most disturbing horror films since well ever, is set to get an American remake. This one has been on the slate for a while, in 2010 it was announced that The Last Exorcist director Daniel Stamm and the writer of Vacancy  Mark. L. Smith had been brought on board to direct and pen the remake.  Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan and Greg Moordian otherwise known as the now Very rich men who produced Vampire Fluff Twilight put their money behind the remake and apparently made noises about wanting Twilight darling Kristen Stewart to take the lead role of Lucie. When questioned about Kristen’s involvement Daniel Stamm said that she was not attached. At the time Stamm also made some comments about how he would try to tone down the soul destroying bleakness of the film (good luck) a concept which seems utterly pointless, as does frankly the remake itself, the French original was designed to be a shocker and if that doesn’t appeal to the men who neutered vampires then they should just leave it the hell alone.  Which is just what they may have done because the film is still in preproduction with no release date. Don’t hurry lads.

The Host

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Not to be confused with the recently released Stephanie Meyer shitfest , The Host was of course also the wildly inventive Koren cult hit released in 2006. It was announced in 2008 that Gore Verbinski would produce the remake, with (then) newbie director Fredrik Bond set to direct. Universal was  backing the film and though there has been radio silence about the project for the last few years, they still own the rights.

American Psycho

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Lionsgate let it be known in 2011 that they were behind a remake of Brett Easton Ellis adap that was in the works. They brought in Noble Jones to write and direct who has been referred to as a protégé of David Fincher, whom he did second unit direction work for on The Social Network. Details were released that the time period would be moved from the 80’s to present day – then it all went dark, with no news on the project to date. Perhaps they realized that it was a terrible idea that would make anyone born before the year 2000 (the year the original film was released) feel ridiculously old.

Find my original Remake lists here and here – and let theHorroronline know what you think of these dastardly plans in the comments!

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