Horror Movie Drinking Games

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I fully believe that we can all have a good time without alcohol and I usually enjoy horror films with popcorn and junk food. But there are certain horror movies that I have discovered become much more enjoyable with a few drinks. There are some horror films that if taken seriously are akin to watching an actual car crash, you become distracted by how every actor doesn’t  realise how unintentionally hilarious they are being, you begin to feel sorry for the cast, the director, the writer. These are not exactly bad films; they are often just films that have missed the mark. My favourite ‘Better with Alcohol’ films are mostly modern films (especially remakes) this is because most  older horror films that are a bit iffy such as The Funhouse and April Fool’s Day still have a retro charm to them that can be survived without having to turn to drink. Modern horror films that miss the mark have little charm, mostly they’re just embarrassing. So here are three horror movies that improve greatly with a jar or two. Please drink and watch responsibly:

 

Stay Alive (2006)

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Alcohol: Beer

This is one of those ‘maybe it worked on paper’ horror film ideas ;A  video game frees an evil spirit when you play it, a spirit that kills players the way they died in the game ( and occasionally just plain kills them) as one of the idiot characters eloquently puts it ‘ You die in the game, you die for real!’. Uh Oh , sounds like an actual game plot – not good! When watched sober this film leaves you regretting the money, time and effort of keeping your eyes open that you have wasted. Frankie Muniz runs around in baggy pants and a neon visor spouting ‘knowledge’, game graphics are used that would make a PC game blush, it’s not pretty. But arm yourself and your friends with a few beers and Stay Alive becomes a comedy horror masterpiece!! “ Oh look they’ve trying to give character back story, ba ha haa” “ My God, the cops are stupider then the stupid teenagers, have they tested the water in this town?”

 Drinking Game : Take a drink every time the awful, awful, awful CGI villain appears,

making Super Mario look like Hannibal Lecter.

 

 

 

House of Wax  (2005)

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Alcohol : Alcopops

In 2005, the 1953 Vincent Price camp horror classic House of Wax got a remake and it starred Paris Hilton, it was a sad day. The film is a confused creation, some of the cast appears to think that they are in a serious, harrowing horror film,the scriptwriter hasn’t decided on a genre yet, director Jaume Collet- Serra (who would go on to make the brilliant Orphan) clearly wasn’t ready for his directorial debut or just should have chosen his material more carefully and Paris Hilton acts like she’s still filming her reality T.V show. It’s a mess , the pointless characters spend much of the running time wandering aimlessly around a ghost town in daylight, stamping to death any tension that could have possibly developed. Time to get drinking!  Now trying to figure out how Paris Hilton’s character became friends with people who can’t seem to make eye contact with her, becomes fun! Oh she’s dropped her lip gloss in her boyfriend’s lap and her friends think she’s ‘servicing him’ when she bends down to retrieve it, fantastic! The slightly less hot one off Supernatural has just dug his fingers into the titular House of Wax and come out with a handful of wax exclaiming “It is wax.. literally!” Brilliant!!

Drinking Game : Take a drink every time Paris Hilton looks around for a cue card.

 

 

 

The Roommate (2011)

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Alcohol: Wine Cooler

The Remake of Single White Female, which isn’t a remake at all, thank you very much, clearly thinks that it’s fun but if you’ve actually seen Single White Female the film that it’s apparently not a remake of, then it’s as fun as watching pretty smug people perform their interpretation of a classic 90’s thriller that they’re too young to remember. Time to start drinking. Now watching Leighton Meester  save herself a trip to ‘Clarie’s’ by stabbing an earring through her ear lobe is genius!  Seeing a half naked girl have her belly button ring ripped out ( the film clearly wants to warn us against the dangers of piercings), is hilarious. If you’re still sober when Billy Zane shows up to try to rescue the film from a bunch of twenty something’s, then you’re watching it wrong…

Drinking Game : Take a drink every time the film steals a plot point from Single White

                                      Female – getting an ill fated pet, sexual harassment, jewellery stealing.

Etc, etc

 

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